This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.
Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Zさん："It's playoff time in America. Over the past few years, the MLB has been incorporating more and more video replay rules. Managers can challenge rulings on the field. On a challenged play, the refs pour over video, frame by excruciating frame, to determine if a fielders glove did in fact tag out a runner, for example.
"I once saw a baseball (or, 野球, if you will) game in Japan. At one point there was a runner on first, and the batter hit the ball to deep left field. The runner tried to make it all the way home, but the outfielder made an amazing throw to home plate. The catcher caught the ball before the runner arrived, and tried to tag him out. The catcher's mitt (with the ball) missed the tag by a good 6 inches. The runner was obviously safe. But the umpire ruled him out.
"No one complained. No one booed. There was no video review. No one kicked dirt onto the shoes of the umpire. Everyone just accepted the call matter-of-factly.
"I have two possible theories why this happened. One, sometimes what should have happened, tells a better story than what actually happened, and Japanese people adjust the truth accordingly. Or two, it is really, really, engrained in the Japanese psyche to never challenge authority figures."
Saturday, October 5, 2019
Friday, September 27, 2019
Zさん："It looks like Japan is the core market Nestle uses to trial run crazy new KitKat flavors. There's Strawberry KitKat, Sake KitKat, Roasted Tea KitKat, ... and look at this! Peach Mint*!"
Aさん：「Peach Mint, huh. I wonder what's in Peach Mint.」
Zさん："... well... all you have to do is read the U.S. Constitution."
* This is a real thing!
Saturday, September 21, 2019
Friday, September 13, 2019
Saturday, September 7, 2019
Friday, August 23, 2019
Friday, August 16, 2019
Friday, August 9, 2019
Friday, August 2, 2019
Thursday, July 25, 2019
Friday, July 19, 2019
先生：「... and as we know, through the use of the Large Hadron Collider, scientists proved the existence of the Higgs Boson Particle. Now, would someone please explain the function of the Higgs Boson, as arguably the most important particle... Mr. Z?」
Zさん："Um... 私 Higgs Boson Mr. Z です。"
先生：「Once again, Mr. Z, you are as insightful as you are reverent.」
Saturday, July 13, 2019
Friday, July 5, 2019
Friday, June 28, 2019
Friday, June 21, 2019
Friday, June 14, 2019
Friday, June 7, 2019
Thursday, May 30, 2019
Friday, May 10, 2019
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Friday, April 26, 2019
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Zさん："That's a beautiful flower arrangement!"
Zさん："So what is that liquid you are pouring on the flowers?"
Bさん：「It's a special solution that has the exact nutrients the flowers need.」
Zさん："So... it's はなみず。"
Bさん： 「... seriously? ...」
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Friday, April 5, 2019
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Friday, March 22, 2019
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Friday, March 8, 2019
Friday, March 1, 2019
Aさん：「I was reading online about this guy who lives in Alaska. After several blizzards, he was snowed in to his house, and could not get out for months. He died because of ... well... cabin fever.」
Zさん："Wow... so you're saying... vases are not only infectious, but also deadly?"