野菜の歌

Zさん："What is the favorite vegetable of なかいくん and キムタク?"
Aさん：「I don't know, what?」
Zさん："Smap peas"
Aさん：「... dude, how old are you?」

Listen Carefully...

ピンポン

大学で、女の学生と男の学生は話しています。男の学生は、まず、何をしますか？

Zさん："AAAAAAGH!"
Bさん：「Are you having the JLPT Listening nightmare again?」
Zさん："I can't wait until this damn test is over..."

The Truth At Our Feet

Zさん："あら。床は汚いね。じゃ、正直しましょう。"
Aさん：「Yeah, I have always thought of you as an honest person.」

The Awkward Cycle

Zさん："I recently had to have a conversion with my 洗剤 about some issues。It can be awkward talking to her."
Aさん：「... what, are you a washing machine?」

Legalese

Aさん：「おやすみ！」

Zさん：”Oh yeah, not if you sue me first!”

Wagyu Beef

Zさん："You know that Japanese delicacy Wagyu Beef? You know what the literal translation of Wagyu is? 'Japanese Beef'. That's a little on the nose, if you ask me."

Netflix

Zさん："When I heard the Netflix so-called 'jingle', I instantly thought of the Japanese word とたん！"

Back to DS9

Aさん：「I have been rewatching Star Trek:DS9 recently. I have always been impressed by Armin Shimerman's portrayal of Quark.」

Zさん："Well, you can't spell Ferengi without 演技."

Birthday Wishes

Zさん："てんじょうび・おめでとう！"

Aさん：「？。。。ゆか・ございます！」

Friends

Zさん："Remember that TV show from the late '90s Friends? There was a gay character Susan who was married to another character Carol. It is really rather surprising, for those days, to have such prominent homosexual characters."
Aさん：「スゲエー。」
Zさん："Carol was too."

変な注文

ウェイトレス："... so what can I get you?"
Zさん："I'll have 2 eggs scrambled and some bacon."
ウェイトレス："and for you?"
Aさん：「目玉やき。」
Zさん："Grilled eye ball? Ew, what is wrong with you?"
Aさん：「。。。」

Opportunity

Aさん：「In Chinese, there is a word that means both crisis and opportunity.」
Zさん："In Japanese, there is a word that means both opportunity and machine."
Aさん：「... what? ...」

The Musician

Aさん：「I was talking to a friend of mine, and he is trying out for first chair oboe in the orchestra.」
Zさん："So... that's... Oboeの応募？"
Aさん：「。。。」

Squid

Aさん：「I am going to have fried squid legs for dinner. Care to join me?」
Zさん："I guess so."
Aさん：「僕もげそを愛するよ！食べましょう！」

JLPT 2022

Zさん："Registration for JPLT N3 starts Monday! I plan to sign up. How about you?"
Aさん：「um... I'm Japanese.」
Zさん："Oh right, Japanese people are registered automatically."
Aさん：「。。。？」

The Truth about Origami

Zさん："Dude. I just learned: Japanese people use the same kanji in the word for broken bones (骨折) as they do for the art form origami (折り紙). Folding your bones artistically? That is dark!" 
Aさん：「Perhaps. But it is also quite the effective mnemonic device. You're never going to forget that.」
Zさん："Touche... but not my bones..."

Road and Aisle

Zさん："If you're like me, you struggle with the Japanese words 通路 and 道路 because they look almost identical. 通路(tsuuro=aisle) 道路(douro=road). Quick tip: the first kanji of tsuuro has a pointy つ at the top, and douro is road spelled backwards."
Aさん：「... and いならまつ is つまらない spelled backwards.」

Lit Pun

Zさん："What is your online group for?"
Aさん：「We're taking a survey of whether people know of and have read "The Canterbury Tales".」
Zさん："... so... it's... Chaucerの調査？"

There and Back Again

Zさん："The Japanese word 戻る (modoru) means to return/go back. Kinda sounds like where Frodo Baggins had to... well... return the ring of power."

Shrug Emoji

_        _ 
 \_(ツ)_/

Aさん：「To me it just looks like a tsu-face.」
Zさん："You mean like the Batman villain?"
Aさん：「If that helps you.」

Food Nerd

Zさん：“… it was literally the best deconstructed gyoza I’ve ever eaten.”

Aさん：「Wow, you are quite the foodie!」

Zさん：”Yeah, I like to think of myself as a Gohan Otaku.”

Cさん：「ご飯を炊く？あの、あまりグルメではないかな。。。」

重ねる

Zさん："Check out the kanji for 重ねる。The word means 'to pile up', it is pronounced 'kasa neru', and it looks like a bunch of umbrellas piled up... sleeping."

Tripe

Aさん：「What’s tripe?」
Zさん：”Cow’s stomach, it’s delicious! Know why?”
Aさん：「Why?」
Zさん：”「イ」は「ウ」前”
Aさん:「Clever if belabored wordplay…」

RATS & STAR Trek

Zさん："Remember that episode of Star Trek: Voyager where Seven of Nine finds a bunch of other Borg types in Unimatrix Zero?"
Aさん：「Sure, what about it?」
Zさん："夢でもし会えたら、すてきなことね。。。"
Aさん：「Nice...」

Musician

Zさん："Check out the kanji for 弾きます。It's like some guy with punky hair holding a bizarre guitar."

Forward

＜Aさん and Zさん are emailing＞

Aさん：「Thanks for your help, please forward this email to Cさん。I do not have his email address.」
Zさん："No problem. Fun Fact: the Japanese phrase Tenso means to Forward email."
Aさん：「... thanks Guinan, I'll have a Synthehol.」

Adjacent Over What?

Zさん："When two regular people date, that's called 交際。When two mathematicians date, that's called コサイン。"

Otter

Zさん："What do you call it when an otter lies about its skin?"
Aさん：「I don't know, what?」
Zさん："カワウソの皮嘘。"
Aさん：「。。。かわうそつけー。」

Horses

Aさん：「It was cool to go to the race track today.」
Zさん："Yeah, it was fun, even if I did lose some money on slow horses."
Aさん：「Yeah. Wanna grab dinner? Craving anything?」
Zさん："... 今日、蕎麦..."
Aさん：「... I assume you are just being clever and not trying to exact some weird culinary revenge...」  

ワイ

 Zさん："ワイ、Japanese people、ワイ...

... は sometimes pronounced as 'wa' ...
... of all the numbers between 1 and 10, only 4 and 7 have two pronunciations ...
... two words for cold, but only one for hot ...
... negative for some adjectives is 'kunai', but 'janai' for others

ワイ。。。" 

About Milk

Zさん："What is the name of the dairy farm's newsletter?"

Aさん：「I don't know, what?」

Zさん："The ギューニューズ"

完了

Zさん："You know, I think the kanji for 完了 is so named ironically. That second kanji does not look complete at all. It's like the creator gave up half way through." 

Study Diet

Zさん："Why did the Juku student bite his sneaker?"
Aさん：「I don't know, why?」
Zさん："Because his teacher said to him, '集中してください'."

選ぶ

Zさん："The kanji for 選ぶ makes me smile. It is like it's asking me to choose between its two backwards '5's."

へんなデート

Aさん：「So you're going out on another date with that girl?」
Zさん："Yup."
Aさん：「It's the third date. Do you think she's, you know, 'game'?」
Zさん："Definitely, she's so 'game'."
Cさん：「シーソーゲーム？へんなデートかな。」

Family Coral Reef

Zさん:「My grandmother had a sister. That sister married a man named Albert. Albert had a nickname, everyone called him 'Ebby'. Albert had a son, also named Albert. After Albert Jr grew up, he married a woman named 'Connie'...」
Aさん："Wait... wait... you have family members named Ebby and Connie? Do you also have a wife named Sazae? Brother-in-law Katsuo? Sister-in-law Wakame?"
Zさん：「。。。皆んなが笑ってる。。。」

Ridiculous Word Play

Aさん：「So I was driving down the highway the other day, and this 18-wheeler passed me. I happened to notice, though, that the truck was extremely narrow, more so than a regular truck.」
Zさん："Awesome. That's a BTP."
Aさん：「？」
Zさん："Semi は狭い。Bilingual Tautology Pun."
Aさん：「A new form of ridiculous word play. Nice.」 

Cabbage!

Zさん："Why should you brush your teeth after eating Chinese cabbage?"

Aさん：「I don't know, why?」

Zさん："はくさいですから。"