This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, June 29, 2018

The Waiter

給仕:"Hi, welcome to Applebees, are you ready to place your order?"
Cさん:「Yes.  Steak, please.」
給仕:"Excellent choice, that comes with soup or salad."
Cさん:「Salad.  But, please no ... scallion ball.」
給仕:"Of course, sir, no .. wait, what?"

Friday, June 22, 2018


Zさん: “Wait... why are you guys talking about rice?”
Aさん:「No, you misunderstand. The word ごはん means both ‘meal’ and ‘rice’.  It’s because rice has been an important part of Japanese meals for a long time.」
Zさん: “Oh! I get it. So, the American equivalent would be ‘Have you eaten burger yet?’ ‘No. I haven’t eaten burger yet. Have you?’ “

ミスタースパーコル:「Mmm... ubiquitous dietary staples.」

Friday, June 15, 2018

Old Cat

Aさん:「So, yeah, my cat was very old, and she had cancer, and her life was miserable, so we decided to 安楽死 。」
Zさん:"... unlucky she indeed."
Aさん:「... Why is it that the brazenly inconsiderate mnemonic devices are the most effective?」

Friday, June 8, 2018

Two Sides

Zさん:”Being bilingual can be tricky.  For example, take the word カラオケ。If you pronounce it ‘kala-o-k’, Americans will think you are a pompous jerk.  If you pronounce it ‘Carry-Okee’ Japanese people will think you are an inarticulate clod.”
Aさん:「You can’t win, dude, just shut up and sing.」

Friday, June 1, 2018

The Poem

Bさん:「Did you get a chance to read my poem?」
Zさん:"Yes。。。 いいかんじ。"
Bさん:「Really? It gave you good feelings?」
Zさん:"...sure... the thought might have crossed my mind that you have exquisite Chinese character penmanship... but ... sure..."