Thursday, April 19, 2018

Apple Talk

Zさん:"ね、ね、I have a riddle for you."
Aさん:「Sure, why not.」
Zさん:"What language do apples speak?"
Aさん:「I don't know, what language do apples speak?」
Zさん:"りん語"
Aさん:「。。。」

ミスタースパーコル:"Mmm... talking apples."

Friday, April 13, 2018

歌ったことがある

僕 - boku - I
君- kimi - you
男 - otoko - man
女 - onna - woman
心 - kokoro - heart
胸 - mune - chest
ため息 - tame-iki - sigh
夢 - yume - dream
涙 - namida - tears
声 - koe - voice
愛 - ai - love
恋 - koi - also love... but more selfish
花束 - hanataba - bouquet of flowers

Zさん:"Don't be intimidated by the kanji in Japanese karaoke song lyrics.  You'd be surprised how often J-POP lyrics repeat. If you learn these few kanji here, you are 90% of the way there."


Friday, April 6, 2018

NCAA Basketball II

Zさん:"Nova is the NCAA Basketball Champion!"
Aさん:「Nova 勝った!ワーイ!ワーイ!」
Cさん:「... the English language school?」

Friday, March 30, 2018

Niece

Aさん:「Who was that on the phone?」
Zさん:"My niece.  She is going to some new tavern that is only for nieces.  She is going to a 姪子バー。
Aさん:「... Yeah... that's... not... what... that... is...」

Friday, March 23, 2018

A Particular Vegetable

Aさん:「Hey, you must be the new guy.  I'm A, and these are X and Z.」
Tom:"Nice to meet you. My name is Tom Aneggi."
Aさん:「*snicker* So, can I put you in a salad, or maybe in French soup.」
Xさん:「Or, could I deep fry rings of you, or maybe saute you over a steak.」
Tom:"Yeah, yeah, I've heard them all before."
Zさん:"Oh, oh... I got one. If I cut you, will I cry?"
Aさん:「。。。Dude, don't be weird。」
Tom:"... It's actually pretty clever..."

Friday, March 16, 2018

NCAA Basketball

Zさん:"It's that time of year, March Madness!"
Aさん:「You know it!  I have my bracket all set up.  This year I have Villanova to go all the way.」
Zさん:"Hey, me too! Go 'Nova!"

Cさん:「三月?狂気?ブラケット?。。。ナ・ニ・ソ・レ? 」

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Return of the Jedi

トルーパー:"Lord Vader, sorry to interrupt your... fight with your son..., but the shield around the Death Star has been turned off.  It appears that a bunch of furry stone age beings on Endor somehow over-powered our imperial troops."
ダース・ベイダー:"<mechanical respiration> So... 言い訳はEwok, eh?"
トルーパー:"... my lord?"
ダース・ベイダー:"Soon, you will appreciate the humor, of the dark side..."

Friday, March 2, 2018



Aさん:「あっ!だめじゃん!おばあちゃんは薬を飲むのを忘れちゃった!」
Zさん:"You know, I never quite understood why Japanese people use the verb 'to drink' to describe ingesting medicine in pill form.  It doesn't make sense to me."
Aさん:「Is English that much better, i.e. to 'take' medicine.  What, like to prom?」
Zさん:"... ha!... that's a funny mental image... an aspirin in a formal gown."
Aさん:「。。。well, if you'll excuse me, I have to get my grandma to drink a pill.」

Friday, February 23, 2018

億千万

Zさん:"Sometimes in American high schools and colleges, Japanese language instructors say that the measure of the ability to read the Japanese language, is the aptitude for reading 日本の新聞。I respectfully disagree.  In my opinion, a more accurate measure of the ability to read the Japanese language, is the aptitude for reading カラオケ・スクリーン。Seriously.  Especially after a few ビール"

Friday, February 16, 2018

ファン

Zさん:"Hey Bさん, what's new?"
Bさん:「I have big news.  You know how I have always been an artistic person.  Well, I recently started my own company to design and sell traditional Japanese hand fans.」
Zさん:"That makes センス."
Bさん:「Yes! Exactly!」

Saturday, February 10, 2018

メカニック

Cさん:「So... my car... is ok?」
メカニック:"Mostly.  I changed your oil and filter, topped off the other fluids, checked the breaks and transmission, and they are all fine.  The only problem is, you need a new muffler."
Cさん:「My car... needs... a scarf?」

Friday, February 2, 2018

大城 ガクト

Bさん:「J-POP 好きですか?」
Yさん:「勿論」
Bさん:「どちの歌手一番好きですか?」
Yさん:「Gackt!」

ミスタースパーコル:"Mmmm... gackt..."

Lt. Worf: "It's gagh, not gackt. You say such things without honor!"

   

Saturday, January 27, 2018

One Hundred Thousand

Zさん:"ね、ね、I have a riddle for you."
Aさん:「Oh, here we go...」
Zさん:"What do you call a string of 100,000 characters?"
Aさん:「I don't know, what?」
Zさん:"十万字。"
Aさん:「Yeah, I didn't like that movie, but I still liked it better than your puns.」

Friday, January 19, 2018

結婚式

プリースト: "... and so, Xさん、Yさん、by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride!"  
Xさん:「夢 indeed!」
Yさん:「Xさん。。。」

Zさん:" *sniff* Sappy puns at weddings always make me cry!"

Friday, January 12, 2018

Fly, Eagles, Fly!

Aさん:「ゴー・イーグルス!」
Zさん:"So, the Japanese phrase for football, American not soccer, is アメフト, and the Japanese phrase for 'It's raining' is あめふる。Very similar, right? Well, if you think about it, the financial juggernaut that is the National Football League definitely 'Makes it rain' for many wealthy investors.  Is that a coincidence?"
Aさん:「。。。ゴー・イーグルス!」

Friday, January 5, 2018

How about Friday?

Aさん:「来週、会いましょうか?」
Bさん:「月、火、水、木、忙しいです。金は?」

ミスタースパーコル:"Mmm... quinoa..."