This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, May 10, 2019

Read the Room

Zさん:"このカフェはステキですね。"
Bさん:「そうですよね!コーヒーは美味しくて、皆んなは優しい。だけど、あの男はスマホで大声で話している。ケーワイーでしょう!」
Zさん:"... the marital aid?..."

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Pairs Well

Bさん:「The typical Japanese person eats eel with eel sauce, okonomiyaki with okonomiyaki sauce, tonkatsu with tonkatsu sauce, tempura with tempura sauce, and so on.

You put ketchup on everything.」

Zさん:"... what ..."

Friday, April 26, 2019

Bread

Aさん:「Aw, man! I just bought this loaf of bread at the supermarket today, and it is already moldy and gross! This is terrible パン!」
Zさん:"... well... this sentence is an even worse パン!"
Aさん:「。。。」
Zさん:"See what I did there?"
Aさん:「。。。」

Saturday, April 20, 2019

A Rose's Nourishment by Any Other Name

Zさん:"That's a beautiful flower arrangement!"
Bさん:「Thank you!」
Zさん:"So what is that liquid you are pouring on the flowers?"
Bさん:「It's a special solution that has the exact nutrients the flowers need.」
Zさん:"So... it's はなみず。"
Bさん: 「... seriously? ...」

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Oy Vey!

男:"Are you ready for Passover?"
女:"Not quite, I have more food shopping to do."

Zさん:"... I think that woman is a Jew."
ドナルド:"Nah, she's a 七, or 八 tops."
Zさん:"Dude, Uncool! What is wrong with you!"

Friday, April 5, 2019

マンジャ、マンジャ

Aさん:「あっ、Zさん、ひさしぶり!元気ですか?」
Zさん:"元気だよ!」
Aさん:「ネェネェ、最近、Zさんは旅行しましたでしょう。」
Zさん:"そうだよ。イタリアのリゾート。"

ミスタースパーコル:「Mmm... Italian Risotto...」

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Cookin' Prep

Zさん:"料理する、ありがとう!"
Bさん:「いいえ、いいえ。」
Zさん:"手伝わせてください。"
Bさん:「いいよ。トメトを切てください。私は玉ねぎを切ります。」
Zさん:"玉ねぎ? 寝ないで!"
Bさん:「。。。?」