This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, June 21, 2019

If Japanese People Had Invented Hexadecimal

零、カ九一カウ五四零
零、零五オ三九零イア
零、六二エ七八七オ五
零、イ零六一九エア七
零、四ウ三二ア八五オ

Friday, June 14, 2019

Layover

Aさん:「How is planning for your trip going?」
Zさん:"Ok. The only flight I could get was with a layover in Boston.  What is the name of the airport there?"
Aさん:「Logan.」
Zさん:"... as in the pilots are old and have bad eye sight? That does not fill me with confidence."

Friday, June 7, 2019

Zurui Onna?

Zさん:"Hi, I'm Z. And you are...?"
女:"My name is Sharon Quimby, but my friends call me 'Sharon Q'."
Zさん:"... Bye bye, Arigatou, Sayonara!"
女:"Either you are really old, or that is like the worst pick-up line ever."
Zさん:"It's both."

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Road Trip

Zさん:"Man, driving across New Jersey is taking forever. Are we almost to New York?"
Cさん:「...Yes... after we cross... タッパン・ゼド」
Zさん:"...? ... We're going to New York, not Canada."

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Friday, May 10, 2019

Read the Room

Zさん:"このカフェはステキですね。"
Bさん:「そうですよね!コーヒーは美味しくて、皆んなは優しい。だけど、あの男はスマホで大声で話している。ケーワイーでしょう!」
Zさん:"... the marital aid?..."

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Pairs Well

Bさん:「The typical Japanese person eats eel with eel sauce, okonomiyaki with okonomiyaki sauce, tonkatsu with tonkatsu sauce, tempura with tempura sauce, and so on.

You put ketchup on everything.」

Zさん:"... what ..."