This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, September 27, 2019


Zさん:"It looks like Japan is the core market Nestle uses to trial run crazy new KitKat flavors. There's Strawberry KitKat, Sake KitKat, Roasted Tea KitKat, ... and look at this! Peach Mint*!"
Aさん:「Peach Mint, huh. I wonder what's in Peach Mint.」
Zさん:"... well... all you have to do is read the U.S. Constitution."

* This is a real thing!

Saturday, September 21, 2019


Zさん:"So I see you are fixing the broken chair."
Aさん:「Yeah. Can you get me the screwdriver?」

ミスタースパーコル:"Mmm...  鶏肉..."

Zさん:"Not sure why, but I have a sudden craving for ケンタッキー..."

Friday, September 13, 2019


Eさん:「Hi, Zさん, I would like you to meet my grandson, Dくん, 孫です。」
Zさん:"Not a magical bloodline, huh."

Saturday, September 7, 2019

米国 v 日本, Part I

Zさん:"In America, there are singing competition reality TV shows. Prospective stars compete before an audience both live and in people's homes. Through survival of the fittest, it is pretty much guaranteed that the winner will be a very talented singer.

"In Japan in the 90s, there was a boy band called SMAP. Their leader was a guy by the name of Masahiro Nakai. He was charming, witty, and handsome. However, he could not sing at all -- completely tone deaf. But because he had the personality of what the leader of a boy band was supposed to have, he got the job."