This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, April 29, 2016


Zさん:"I heard you are a Buddhist."
Aさん:「That is true, although before the year 2000, I was not Buddhist at all.」
Zさん:"So... 2000 以前  全然  禅?"
Aさん:「Makes zens to me.」

Friday, April 22, 2016


Aさん:「Ok, are you ready to go?」
Zさん:"Yup, I'm all set."
Aさん:「Oh no! It started raining and we don't have umbrellas.」
Zさん:"Hmm... not a problem.  I know how to make it stop raining.  Whenever I eat delicious candy, rain stops and the sun comes out."
Aさん:「。。。really?  Eating candy stops rain?」

... Zさん eats candy ...  five minutes pass ...

Aさん:「Wow, that actually worked!  How did you know?」
Zさん:"Simple really ...  飴Yum雨止む."

Friday, April 15, 2016


Aさん:「速く、Hop on the bus。」
Zさん:“First of all, there is only one bus, not eight of them. Secondly, buses are not long slender objects, but rather, they are large vehicles, so the correct phrase would be はちだいのバス。”
Aさん: 「。。。just get on the bus。」

A little knowledge of Japanese counters is a dangerous thing.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Time Travel

Aさん:「I have some terrible news.  The secret to time travel that we have protected so well, has been stolen.  We thought we were prepared, but it happened before we knew it.」
Aさん:「Exactly. Our arch enemy, Dr. Monica Akuma, stole the secret and immediately used a temporal bridge to jump to some other era in time.  We don't know when, maybe the Jurassic Period, maybe the Stone Age, maybe the future.」
Aさん:「Indeed.  Well, let's go find her and bring her to justice.  いくぞ!」

Friday, April 1, 2016


Zさん:"Hey,  Aさん, can, I, borrow, your, car, I, need, to, drive, somewhere"
Aさん:「um... comma wa nai.」
Zさん:"Great! I'll have it back next week."