This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, December 23, 2016

The Window

Zさん:"... so like I was telling you, when she..."
Zさん:"Yes, you should be punished for leaving your window open."
Aさん:「... and you should be punished for that bad pun.」

Friday, December 16, 2016

Confusion in Numbers

Zさん:"I have a Japanese language question for you."
Aさん:「Ok, what?」
Zさん:"It is about the suffixes for counting.  It's so confusing.  ほん is used for long narrow objects, まい for flat things, ひき for small animals, だい for large equipment, かい for floors of a building, and こ for whatever else.  So hard to remember, you know.  There's nothing that arbitrarily difficult in English for groups of things."
Aさん:「Seriously? A gaggle of geese, a pride of lions, a clowder of cats, a school of fish, a den of snakes, a tower of giraffes, a murder of crows...」
Zさん:"... and, um, a plethora of apologies..."    

Friday, December 9, 2016


Zさん:"Traveling somewhere?"
Aさん:「Yes, actually.  I am going to South Florida and spending some time in the Florida Keys.」
Zさん:"Are you going to get some Key Lime Pie?  Not a big fan myself.  I like to say 'You can't spell Key Lime Pie without きらい。"
Aさん:「Ha! ... although I actually love Key Lime Pie and plan on enjoying some.」
Zさん:"Fair enough."

Friday, December 2, 2016


Zさん:"'Ow, ow, ow'? Are you ok? Are you in pain? Do you want to go to a doctor? Or the hospital?"
Bさん:「What? No! The traffic light we're stopped at is 青い, as in 'Green light, go'.」
Zさん:"I thought 青い meant blue."
Bさん:「Just drive...」