This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Friday, February 26, 2016


Aさん:「Could I talk to you about the Big Hoson?」
Zさん:"You mean the Higgs Boson particle?  Sure! Modern physics is exciting stuff!"
Aさん:「Um, the Higgs Boson is not what I meant.  I need to store a bunch of documents in my computer. ビッグほぞんする。」 
Zさん:"Oh... Ok."

Friday, February 19, 2016


Zくん:"Are you familiar with the TV show ちびまる子ちゃん?"
Aくん:「Yes, I am.」
Zくん:"And in that show, you know the classmate of まる子ちゃん named はなわくん?"
Aくん:「Sure, what about him?」
Zくん:"I don't know if it is the weird flying-wave haircut, or the vast wealth, but I think はなわくん may be a long lost son of Donald Trump."
Aくん:「You know, that makes sense... although はなわくん is an exceedingly kind, big-hearted, well-mannered young man.」
Zくん:"Hmm.  Maybe that skips a generation." 

Friday, February 12, 2016

White Day

Zさん:"Do Japanese people celebrate Valentine's Day?"
Aさん:「Sure! On Feb. 14, Japanese women give gifts of candy to Japanese men they are interested in romantically.  Then exactly one month later, on what is known as 'White Day',  Japanese men reciprocate and likewise give candy to Japanese women.」
Zさん:"Declarations of romantic intent through gifts of candy and celebrating the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter, all on one day?  White Day is awesome!"

Friday, February 5, 2016


Zさん:"So you are a real, live vampire?"
Vさん:"Well technically an undead one, but yes."
Zさん:"And you are basically immortal, right?"
Vさん:"Yes. In fact, tomorrow is my 10,000th birthday."
Zさん:"... 一万歳?... 万歳!"