This blog is one gaijin's attempt to learn Japanese through mnemonics, puns, and general linguistic absurdity.

Looking for Fractalsmith Games? Sorry, but Ed Siewert, the creative force behind Fractalsmith, has decided to focus his efforts on making cheesy Japanese puns instead of cheesy computer games.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Foot Locker

Aさん:「OK, welcome to your first day on the job at Foot Locker.  Let me explain what you say to customers when they enter the store.   You greet them, then let them take a seat, then finally, ask them what shoe size they are.」
Zさん:"So... size shoe は最終?"
Aさん:「... indeed, but in general, tautologies don't equate to sales. 」

Friday, December 22, 2017

Visiting Europe

Aさん:「So I am going on vacation to Europe.  My plan is to spend exactly one day in each of the capital cities of each country in Europe.  That itinerary is neat, eh?」
Zさん:"Every itinerary is 日程."

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Family Feud

Steve Harvey: "John, there is one correct answer left up on the board, and your family has two strikes.  If you get it right, your family wins.  If not, the Jones family will have a chance to steal.  Are you ready?"
John Smith: "Yes."
Steve Harvey: "Name a celebrity with the last name 'Allen'."
John Smith: "I'll go with Keegan. Keegan Allen."
Steve Harvey: "Ok... for the win... Show Me Keegan!"


Zさん:"I didn't know Family Feud had an expiration date."

Friday, December 8, 2017

Particle Man

Zさん:"... dammit!"

Friday, December 1, 2017


Zさん:"I have a riddle for you."
Aさん:「Ok, shoot.」
Zさん:"What was the one thing Napoleon could not do, that caused his conquest to fail."
Aさん:「I don't know, what?」
Aさん:「... that's actually pretty clever.」