Absurd? Yes

Aさん：「シリツソンシリツソンシリツソン」

Zさん：”Can you translate that into English?”

Aさん：「Iil1!Iill!|Iil1!|Iil!li1|」

Smooch

テレビ：「新しいコンピュータ、新しいスマホ、新しいテレビ、バーゲンです！安いです！買いましょう！

キャンペーン中！」

Zさん：”So my Sweetie is going to drink bubbly wine then give me a smooch?”

Kumbaya

Zさん：”What would you call it if we sat in circle around a campfire with some Japanese people and sang Kumbaya?”

Aさん：「I don’t know.」

Zさん：”私たちフィーリー。”

GI Joe

Zさん：”Did you know that the reason GI Joe shouts out ‘Hyo Jo!’ is because that is Japanese word for ‘facial expression’ and Cobra Commander has no face?”

Aさん:「Does Cobra Commander shout バカ？」

Eat at the Train Station

Aさん：「。。。赤ちゃんは食べられるのために、野菜を液化。」
Zさん："Wait, you turned vegetables into a train station? How have I not heard of this?"
ミスタスパーコル：「Mmm... train station...」

 

Pregnant

 Zさん：”The Japanese word for pregnancy is にんしん and the kanji for it is 妊娠。Really? Wouldn’t 人新 make more sense? As in New Person?”

Limit

Zさん："What is the Japanese word for 'limit'?"
Aさん：「制限。」
Zさん："What is the Japanese word for 'limit'?"
Aさん：「制限。」
Zさん："What is the Japanese word for 'limit'?"
Aさん：「。。。制限に達した！」
Zさん："..."

Unexpected 倍

Zさん："The kanji 旧 is interesting. It means ex-something, and is pronounced きゅう。I would expect it to be pronounced じゅうはち。" 

ハハ

Zさん：”Happy Mother’s Day!”

Bさん：「ハッ？」

Zさん：”今日はハハ”

Bさん：「Allow me to reiterate, ハッ？」

What's in a Name

Zさん："Hi 雪ちゃん, sweetie! How are you?"
雪さん：「We need to talk.」
Zさん："What's up?"
雪さん：「This relationship isn't working out, I think we should break up.」
Zさん："I see"
雪さん：「... the thing is, it's not you, it's me. Understand?」
Zさん："So what you are saying is, your name isn't ゆき, but rather, みき?"
雪さん：「。。。」

てs

Bさん：「ゴミいっぱい。捨ててください。」

Zさん：”That word has too many てs. We should throw one away.”

Bさん：「。。。」

One

Cさん：「Zさん、... is your... sister... 独身？」
Zさん："What?"
Cさん：「... your sister... 独身？」
Zさん："I don't understand."
Cさん：「is she... ah! シングル」
Zさん："You know, 99% of people over the age of 50 have the virus that causes Shingles already inside them."
Cさん：「ハッ」

 

Suffixes

５歳：かわいい、明ちゃん！

１７歳：頑張れ、明くん！

３５歳：ごくろさま、明さん！

６２歳：どもありがとうございます、明さま！

８５歳：かわいい、おじいちゃん！