Skills

Aさん：「So I noticed you haven’t practiced your guitar lately.」

Zさん：”Yeah I’m just so busy.”

Aさん：「You have to hone your skills! And you know what the opposite of hone is?」

Zさん：”umm… にせ”

Aさん：「。。。本物のことです」

Trade

Aさん：「I have been going to a Stock trading web site recently. One stock I have been following seems to have peaked, and the price will probably head down.」
Cさん：「やばいやばい！」

Zさん："Actually, in this situation, ya sell, ya sell."

Cさん：「?」

Aさん：「。。。」

Spelling Bee

Spelling Bee

In America

Judge: "The word is 'heirloom'."

John: "Heirloom. H-E-I-R-L-O-O-M. Heirloom."

Judge: "That is correct."

日本

先生：「この言葉は『めざましとけ』。」

D君：「めざましとけ。め、ざ、ま、し、と、け。めざましとけ。」

先生：「正解です。」

--

Zさん："The difficult part wasn't spelling it. It was knowing which alarm clock they meant."

We all have our roll in life

Aさん：「You're buying bread?」

Zさん："Yeah. Some people like Wonder or Pepperidge Farm, but I am more of a Sara Lee man."

課長：「僕も！」

Healthy Poems

Aさん：「Hey Zさん, this is my friend Eugene, he writes poems about health issues.」
Zさん："Hi Gene, hygiene 俳人。"
Aさん：「。。。okay, Sheldon」

  

Tautology Prerequisite

Zさん："Are you going to the Gun Show this weekend?"

Aさん：「Yep, but is it true that you need to bring a written application to get in?」

Zさん："Gun Showの願書？Don't worry, the second amendment does not specify tautology usage as a prerequisite for firearm ownership."

Talk to the Animals

Zさん：”Wow what a close horse race! A photo finish! Maybe horse 1 was victorious , maybe horse 7 was…”

Aさん：「I think horse 1 won.」

Zさん：”… um…犬ワンワン、馬ヒヒーン。”

Blizzard

Zさん："Hey, I'm writing an email, and I need to underline some text. How do I do that?"
Aさん：「Hold down the Ctrl Key and press "U". Or in other words... Control U-key」

Zさん："... what, like I'm Storm from X-Men?" 

010

Zさん："I have been thinking about word 横転。I means to overturn, and it sounds like the English number 010. And get this... if you overturn 010, it is still... 010."

Aさん：「... mind blown, dude.」

I'll Have the Mutton

ウェイター："What can I get for you, sir?"

Zさん："A ribeye cooked medium."
ウェイター："Very good, and you, sir?"

Cさん：「えーっと。rlack of rlam, please」

ウェイター："Yeah, my old computer lacked RAM too. You can probably buy a memory card instead of a new computer.”

Zさん："Heh heh heh. Random Access Mutton"

To The Nearest

Aさん：「... and so, the exact result of the calculation is 4.49, then we 四捨五入する。」

Zさん："... except that rounding 4.49 to the nearest integer is 4, not 5."

 

Giraffe Physiology

Zさん："I didn't know you worked here at the zoo!"

Aさん：「Yep, I am making a statue of a giraffe.」

Zさん："Cool! What is this large stone piece over here?"

Aさん：「That will become the neck. 首になる。」

Zさん："Oh... sorry to hear that... you were doing so well."

An Acquired Taste

Zさん：”That pasta you made was delicious. What’s your secret?”

Aさん：「にんにく」

Zさん：”What are you, a cannibal?”

Round Numbers

Zさん：”How do you say ellipsis in Japanese?”

Aさん：「十万一千十。」

Zさん：”… well said my man…”

—

分かった？😉

Beyond The Meanings

Aさん：”In English, ‘cold’ means both illness & freezing. In Japanese, かぜ means both illness & wind. I wonder if there’s a third language that has a word that means both freezing & wind.”

Zさん：”Frind? No, wait, weezing!”

Quite a Dish

Zさん：”Hi, I’m Z, nice to meet you.”

Bさん：「I’m B, nice to meet you too.」

Zさん：”Are you, you know, single?”

Bさん：「未婚です。」

ミスタースパーコル:「Mmm みかん」

Zさん：”…”

Bさん：「。。。」

Absurd? Yes

Aさん：「シリツソンシリツソンシリツソン」

Zさん：”Can you translate that into English?”

Aさん：「Iil1!Iill!|Iil1!|Iil!li1|」

Smooch

テレビ：「新しいコンピュータ、新しいスマホ、新しいテレビ、バーゲンです！安いです！買いましょう！

キャンペーン中！」

Zさん：”So my Sweetie is going to drink bubbly wine then give me a smooch?”

Kumbaya

Zさん：”What would you call it if we sat in circle around a campfire with some Japanese people and sang Kumbaya?”

Aさん：「I don’t know.」

Zさん：”私たちフィーリー。”

GI Joe

Zさん：”Did you know that the reason GI Joe shouts out ‘Hyo Jo!’ is because that is Japanese word for ‘facial expression’ and Cobra Commander has no face?”

Aさん:「Does Cobra Commander shout バカ？」