億千万

Zさん："Sometimes in American high schools and colleges, Japanese language instructors say that the measure of the ability to read the Japanese language, is the aptitude for reading 日本の新聞。I respectfully disagree.  In my opinion, a more accurate measure of the ability to read the Japanese language, is the aptitude for reading カラオケ・スクリーン。Seriously.  Especially after a few ビール"

ファン

Zさん："Hey Bさん, what's new?"
Bさん：「I have big news.  You know how I have always been an artistic person.  Well, I recently started my own company to design and sell traditional Japanese hand fans.」
Zさん："That makes センス."
Bさん：「Yes! Exactly!」

メカニック

Cさん：「So... my car... is ok?」
メカニック:"Mostly.  I changed your oil and filter, topped off the other fluids, checked the breaks and transmission, and they are all fine.  The only problem is, you need a new muffler."
Cさん：「My car... needs... a scarf?」

大城 ガクト

Bさん：「J-POP 好きですか？」
Yさん：「勿論」
Bさん：「どちの歌手一番好きですか？」
Yさん：「Gackt!」

ミスタースパーコル："Mmmm... gackt..."

Lt. Worf: "It's gagh, not gackt. You say such things without honor!"

 

One Hundred Thousand

Zさん："ね、ね、I have a riddle for you."
Aさん：「Oh, here we go...」
Zさん："What do you call a string of 100,000 characters?"
Aさん：「I don't know, what?」
Zさん："十万字。"
Aさん：「Yeah, I didn't like that movie, but I still liked it better than your puns.」

結婚式

プリースト: "... and so, Xさん、Yさん、by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride!"  
Xさん：「夢 indeed!」
Yさん：「Xさん。。。」

Zさん：" *sniff* Sappy puns at weddings always make me cry!"

Fly, Eagles, Fly!

Aさん：「ゴー・イーグルス！」
Zさん："So, the Japanese phrase for football, American not soccer, is アメフト, and the Japanese phrase for 'It's raining' is あめふる。Very similar, right? Well, if you think about it, the financial juggernaut that is the National Football League definitely 'Makes it rain' for many wealthy investors.  Is that a coincidence?"
Aさん：「。。。ゴー・イーグルス！」