Zen

Zさん："I heard you are a Buddhist."
Aさん：「That is true, although before the year 2000, I was not Buddhist at all.」
Zさん："So... 2000 以前  全然  禅?"
Aさん：「Makes zens to me.」

天気

Aさん：「Ok, are you ready to go?」
Zさん："Yup, I'm all set."
Aさん：「Oh no! It started raining and we don't have umbrellas.」
Zさん："Hmm... not a problem.  I know how to make it stop raining.  Whenever I eat delicious candy, rain stops and the sun comes out."
Aさん：「。。。really?  Eating candy stops rain?」
Zさん："Absolutely."

... Zさん eats candy ...  five minutes pass ...

Aさん：「Wow, that actually worked!  How did you know?」
Zさん："Simple really ...  飴Yum雨止む."

乗る

Aさん：「速く、Hop on the bus。」

Zさん：“First of all, there is only one bus, not eight of them. Secondly, buses are not long slender objects, but rather, they are large vehicles, so the correct phrase would be はちだいのバス。”

Aさん： 「。。。just get on the bus。」

A little knowledge of Japanese counters is a dangerous thing.

Time Travel

Aさん：「I have some terrible news.  The secret to time travel that we have protected so well, has been stolen.  We thought we were prepared, but it happened before we knew it.」
Zさん："いつのまにか。"
Aさん：「Exactly. Our arch enemy, Dr. Monica Akuma, stole the secret and immediately used a temporal bridge to jump to some other era in time.  We don't know when, maybe the Jurassic Period, maybe the Stone Age, maybe the future.」
Zさん："Monicaいつの？"
Aさん：「Indeed.  Well, let's go find her and bring her to justice.  いくぞ！」

貸す

Zさん："Hey,  Aさん, can, I, borrow, your, car, I, need, to, drive, somewhere"
Aさん：「um... comma wa nai.」
Zさん："Great! I'll have it back next week." 

海

Zさん："すなつな。”
Aさん：「What?」
Zさん："すなつな。”

Aさん：「I don't understand。。。」

Zさん："Soon a tuna will jump out of the ocean and land on the beach..."

Aさん：「Ok。。。」

Zさん："...and then the tuna will become covered in sand, or 砂, making it a 砂ツナ."

Aさん：「。。。 I get it.  So, soon a tuna 砂ツナ！」

Zさん："Soon a tuna 砂ツナ！"

Aさん：「So。。。 soon a 砂ツナ食べるな。。。」
Zさん："Depending on the amount of 砂."

トマトを言う

Zさん："Aさん, you're a trivia buff, right? I have some trivia questions for you."
Aさん：「OK, shoot.」
Zさん："If you have a bunch of old junk you don't need, you put it in... what?"
Aさん：「Strage.」
Zさん："What do you call a large funnel-shaped twister storm?"
Aさん：「Tornad.」
Zさん："What is the capital of California?"
Aさん：「Sacrament. ... ah... I get it... very well, I have some trivia questions for you as well.  What do you call singing along to pre-recorded pop songs in a bar?」
Zさん："Carry Okee."
Aさん：「What do you call ritualistic Japanese suicide?」
Zさん："Harry Carry."
Aさん：「What do you call Japanese open-hand martial arts?」
Zさん："Ka Rah Tee... ok, ok, I see your point.  Touché."
Aさん：「Hmm, you know, I bet we'd both struggle with フランス語。」