Officially Bilingual

Zさん："... so anyway, I was thinking that, as far as US presidents go so far, Barack Obama is the second to last, making him the... the... なんでしょうか。。。"
Aさん：「Congratulations!  You are an English speaker, and you could not remember an English term, and you expressed that fact using a Japanese phrase.  You are officially bilingual! ... and the word you are thinking of, by the way, is 'penultimate'.」
Zさん："... um... なるほど。"
Aさん：「You did it again!」

Bob Hope

Zさん："Hey, was Bob Hope a renowned liar?"
Aさん：「Why would you ask that?  Bob Hope was awesome.」
Zさん："Yeah, but I saw this picture of him in front of a crowd of army guys, and behind him was a huge sign, in capital letters reading: 'USO'"
Aさん：「。。。」

天気予報

Zさん："Ever notice how the kanji for rain (ame 雨) has 4 rain drops and the kanji for umbrella (kasa 傘) has four people? The hot dog / bun folks could learn a thing or two."

Necco Wafers

Aさん：「I was talking to my dad, and he said that when he was a kid, his favorite candy was something called Necco Wafers.」

Zさん："Would those be wafers made by, for, or from... 猫...?"

Aさん：「Dude... Ew...」

Apple Talk

Zさん："ね、ね、I have a riddle for you."
Aさん：「Sure, why not.」
Zさん："What language do apples speak?"
Aさん：「I don't know, what language do apples speak?」
Zさん："りん語"
Aさん：「。。。」

ミスタースパーコル："Mmm... talking apples."

歌ったことがある

僕 - boku - I
君- kimi - you
男 - otoko - man
女 - onna - woman
心 - kokoro - heart
胸 - mune - chest
ため息 - tame-iki - sigh
夢 - yume - dream
涙 - namida - tears
声 - koe - voice
愛 - ai - love
恋 - koi - also love... but more selfish
花束 - hanataba - bouquet of flowers

Zさん："Don't be intimidated by the kanji in Japanese karaoke song lyrics.  You'd be surprised how often J-POP lyrics repeat. If you learn these few kanji here, you are 90% of the way there."

NCAA Basketball II

Zさん："Nova is the NCAA Basketball Champion!"
Aさん：「Nova 勝った！ワーイ！ワーイ！」
Cさん：「... the English language school?」